SYNOPSIS
PROLOGUE
Prologus enters and welcomes the
audience to the theatre, which, he says, is a temple where the gods of
comedy and tragedy are worshiped. After announcing that tonight's
presentation is a comedy, he goes on to explain the particulars of what
is to follow ("Comedy Tonight"). Prologus and the Proteans perform bits
of pantomime and clowning during musical interludes that occur in the
number. The curtains part to reveal the set as Prologus introduces the
characters and the location for the play: the street in Rome on which
sit, in a row, the houses of Erronius, Senex and Lycus. Prologus
explains that Erronius is an old man searching abroad for his son and
daughter, who were stolen as infants by pirates; his house is stage
left. Lycus is a buyer and seller of beautiful women; his house is
stage right. Senex, also an old man, lives with his wife, Domina, their
son, Hero, and their slave, Pseudolus, the part that Prologus will be
playing; they occupy the house stage center. We are next introduced to
the Proteans, three actors who will be playing many characters, all in
different costumes. Prologus calls the entire company to the stage and
they all finish "Comedy Tonight."
ACT ONE
As
the play begins, Hero is on the balcony of his house while Philia is at
the window of Lycus's house. Senex comes out of his house and tells the
Proteans (now dressed as slaves) that he and Domina are about to begin
their journey to visit her mother in the country. Domina, who is
clearly the ruler of the house, orders the slaves to fetch their bags
and begins calling for Hysterium and Pseudolus. After confirming that
Hysterium has prepared her usual potions, she tells him that while they
are gone, Pseudolus is to be responsible for their son, Hero. Pseudolus
is to take special care to keep him away from women, particularly those
of the shameful house of Lycus. Domina sends Senex into the house to
fetch a gift intended for Domina's mother, a bust of Domina. Hysterium
is then appointed Slave-in-Chief, with instructions that his word is to
be followed in their absence.
Hero drifts toward the house of
Lycus after his parents leave; Hysterium goes into the house calling
for Pseudolus. Hero tells the audience he's in love ("Love, I Hear").
The Proteans (now dressed as citizens) enter holding Pseudolus by the
arms; they tell Hero that Pseudolus, masquerading as a citizen, has
cheated them in a gambling game. At Hero's insistence, Pseudolus repays
the citizens; he tells Hero he was only trying to gain enough money to
buy his freedom. Hero tells Pseudolus he is in love with a girl from
the house of Lycus. When Pseudolus explains to Hero he could never
afford a courtesan from the house of Lycus, Hero announces he would
give anything for this girl. Pseudolus asks for his freedom if he can
arrange for Hero and his love to be together. Pseudolus, with
encouragement from Hero, imagines all the things freedom would mean for
him: the ability to vote and own property, as well as the
responsibility for providing for himself ("Free").
Lycus
appears from his house and berates a Protean (now dressed as a Eunuch)
for fanning the courtesans while they are wet. Lycus announces he is
off to the Senate to blackmail a Senator. Pseudolus takes Hero's money
bag and jiggles it behind Lycus; the noise stops Lycus in his tracks.
Pseudolus, after lying about where he got the money, asks to see the
courtesans. Lycus summons the Eunuch to fetch them. They appear as
Lycus describes their charms to Pseudolus, who looks to Hero to find
the one he is in love with. After rejecting Tintinabula, Panacea, the
Geminae and Vibrata, Pseudolus becomes captivated with Gymnasia, who
enters performing a dance. Hero then has to remind Pseudolus of their
agreement. As the courtesans go back in the house, Philia again appears
at the window; Hero points her out to Pseudolus as the one they are
looking for. Pseudolus asks Lycus about her, and Lycus explains she has
already been sold to Miles Gloriosus, a great captain, who is coming
later in the day to claim her. After Lycus tells Pseudolus Philia is
from Crete, Pseudolus invents a story, telling Lycus Crete is suffering
from a plague; Philia will soon die. Lycus tells him Philia seems
healthy and spends the day smiling. Pseudolus says smiling is the
signal death is near. Lycus, believing Pseudolus and afraid the plague
is contagious, agrees to let Pseudolus look after Philia in Senex's
house until the captain arrives.
Pseudolus goes to the harbor in
search of a way out of their dilemma, leaving Philia and Hero together.
After introducing themselves, Philia tells Hero she was never taught to
add or spell or cook. Her only talent is that she is lovely. Hero
quickly agrees with her ("Lovely"). After the song, they kiss and
profess their love for each other. Hysterium enters and becomes very
nervous when he sees them embracing; he gets more upset when he learns
Philia is from the house of Lycus. Pseudolus enters just as Hysterium
begins calling for him. After sending Philia and Hero off, Pseudolus
first tries to tell Hysterium she is his daughter. When Hysterium
refuses to believe that, Pseudolus tells him the truth about the
soon-to-arrive captain. Hysterium announces he will tell the boy's
parents, but changes his mind when Pseudolus reminds him that as
Slave-in-Chief, Hysterium will be held responsible; Pseudolus also
threatens to mention Hysterium's collection of erotic pottery. When the
two young lovers return, Pseudolus announces his plan: they will go to
the harbor with their belongings and take a ship to a far-off island
where they can be free from all cares ("Pretty Little Picture"). They
are about to go, but Philia reminds them all she is duty-bound to honor
the contract with Miles Gloriosus. Pseudolus, realizing he will lose
his chance for freedom if Philia does not run away with Hero, puts
Philia in Senex's house to wait for the captain, whose arrival
Pseudolus will announce with three knocks on the door.
Pseudolus
decides upon a plan: he steals Hysterium's potion book in order to make
a powerful sleeping potion for Philia; Pseudolus will tell Lycus and
the captain she has died from the plague; Hero will then take the body
away to the waiting boat. As Pseudolus goes off to find the sweat of a
mare (a crucial ingredient for the potion), Senex returns; he has
dropped Domina's bust and must now find a stonecutter to replace the
broken-off nose. After calling out for Pseudolus, Senex goes to the
door of his house and knocks three times. Philia opens the door, she
assumes Senex he is the captain. She throws herself at him just as
Pseudolus returns with a vial of mare's sweat. Philia exits back into
the house. When Senex asks Pseudolus who she is, he tells him that she
is the new maid. Senex and Pseudolus then discuss the joys of having a
maid; they are eventually joined by Hysterium and Lycus ("Everybody
Ought To Have a Maid").
Before Senex can enter his house to meet
Philia, Pseudolus sprinkles some mare's sweat on Senex and convinces
the old man he needs a bath after his long trip. Senex goes off to the
empty house of Erronious to take his bath and wait for Philia. A very
nervous Hysterium returns in time to see Senex enter Erronius's house.
Hysterium tries to calm himself after Pseudolus goes off to make the
sleeping potion ("I'm Calm"). He has almost calmed down when Senex
yells for him; Hysterium runs into the center house.
Erronius
returns home after his journey abroad searching for his children; he
has very bad eyesight and mistakes Hysterium (who has just exited the
house carrying a chicken) for a young woman carrying a baby. Senex (who
is still waiting in Erronius's house for the arrival of Philia) begins
to sing; Hysterium tells the startled Erronius his house is haunted.
Erronius demands that Hysterium find a soothsayer; Pseudolus hears this
and introduces himself to Erronius as a soothsayer. With Hysterium
frantically gesturing behind Erronious, Pseudolus guesses the nature of
Erronius's long trip abroad and tells him he can find his long-lost
children. Erronius gives Pseudolus his ring, copies of which are worn
by his children. Pseudolus then sends Erronius off to circle the entire
city of Rome - with its seven hills - seven times; this will rid the
house of ghosts.
Senex enters and sends Hysterium off to make a
bath just as Hero enters looking for Philia. She steps onto the
balcony, and Senex and Hero both realize that the other is watching
her. This leads each of them, first, to deny the possibility that the
other could be interested in her, then to find reasons why she would be
more interested in the other ("Impossible"). Senex sends Hero to the
public baths as Hysterium announces Senex's bath is ready.
Lycus
enters; when he asks Pseudolus about Philia's condition, Pseudolus
tells him it has clearly deteriorated; she has progressed from smiling
to laughing. As Pseudolus is about to finish preparing the sleeping
potion, a Protean (dressed as a soldier) arrives looking for the house
of Marcus Lycus; he announces the imminent arrival of the captain,
Miles Gloriosus, who is only half a league away. After the soldier
leaves, Lycus and Pseudolus panic; Pseudolus decides he will tell the
captain the center house, the house of Senex, belongs to Lycus. Lycus
insists Pseudolus speak to the captain; Pseudolus agrees as Lycus runs
off to move the courtesans from his own house to the center house. Two
soldiers arrive carrying the contract between Lycus and the captain,
and announce the captain is a quarter of a league away. Pseudolus, now
claiming to be Lycus, tells them he intends to stand behind the
contract. Hysterium enters calling Pseudolus; Pseudolus tells the
soldiers his name is really Pseudolus Marcus Lycus and Hysterium is his
eunuch. He tells Hysterium he deserted from the army long ago, and the
soldiers are looking for him; Hysterium agrees to call him Lycus.
Pseudolus instructs Hysterium to give Philia a few drops of the potion
in a beaker of wine; at Pseudolus's command, Hysterium is to carry out
her seemingly lifeless body. The soldiers leave after Pseudolus assures
them the captain's bride will be ready when he arrives; Pseudolus tells
Lycus to pose the courtesans informally in front of the center house.
Everyone stops and watches as Erronius enters and exits after his first
trip around the city.
Pseudolus sends Lycus into the house as a
fanfare announcing the captain's arrival is heard. Pseudolus greets the
captain and introduces himself as Lycus. Praising himself continuously,
Miles Gloriosus demands to see his bride ("Bring Me My Bride").
Pseudolus calls for Philia to be brought out, but Hysterium enters and
tells him Philia won't drink the wine for religious reasons. Pseudolus
goes into the house with Hysterium to make Philia drink the wine. When
Miles again demands his bride be brought out to him, Pseudolus exits
the house and announces Philia has escaped. When Miles reminds
Pseudolus (still pretending to be Lycus) the money for Philia has
already been paid, Pseudolus drops his disguise and tells Miles Lycus
will pay him back his money. Lycus and Hysterium enter and insist
Pseudolus is Lycus. Miles Gloriosus, now in a rage, orders his soldiers
to raze the center house. Miles threatens to kill Pseudolus, and
Pseudolus, after begging time for one word, yells, "Intermission."
ACT TWO
Prologus
(this time played by Senex) welcomes the audience and recaps the action
in Act One as the characters all enter and assume their positions from
the end of Act One.
Miles, preparing to kill Pseudolus with
his sword, orders a soldier to gag Pseudolus. Pseudolus escapes. He
insists Philia must be nearby and he praises her beauty. Miles lowers
his sword when Pseudolus tells him, "If you had been born a woman, you
would have been she!" Miles orders Pseudolus, accompanied by his
soldiers, to find Philia; she is to be brought to the center house
where Miles and the rest of the soldiers will be waiting. Pseudolus
tells Hysterium to bring Philia up to the roof of the house. Everyone
stops and watches as Erronius arrives and exits after his second trip
around the city. Miles gives Pseudolus one hour to bring Philia.
Senex,
still in the house of Erronius and fresh from his bath, tells Hysterium
to bring Philia to him; he also asks Hysterium to bring any left-over
passion potion.
Pseudolus succeeds in losing the soldiers
accompanying him and tells the audience his plan will still work if he
can find a body. After he runs off to find the body-snatcher, Domina
arrives. She runs into Hysterium, who is on his way to Senex with the
passion potion. Domina tells Hysterium she still loves Senex despite
her suspicion Senex is chasing other women ("That Dirty Old Man").
Domina, who is the daughter of a general, doesn't object when Hysterium
tells her he has invited Miles and his men into the house. Miles, who
thinks he is in the house of Lycus, believes Domina is an older
courtesan.
Pseudolus returns and tells Hysterium the
body-snatcher has died and someone has stolen the body. He pulls
Hysterium into the house as Senex, still in Erronius's house, asks
Philia, in the center house, to come to him; she is unseen by the
captain, who has just appeared on the balcony of the center house.
Philia runs into Hero on her way to Erronius's house; she tells him her
revenge against being taken by the captain will be to think of Hero
while making love to Miles ("That'll Show Him"). Pseudolus enters and
sends Hero and Philia into the garden to avoid being seen by Miles; he
also discovers Philia will go with Hero if Hero obtains the captain's
contract. He then calls for Hysterium to come out of the house.
Hysterium enters wearing a virgin's dress and wig. He complains about
the costume as Pseudolus convinces him he must impersonate the
captain's dead courtesan. When Hysterium continues to protest,
Pseudolus tells him how pretty he'll look as a dead virgin ("Lovely -
Reprise"); Pseudolus tells him to lie down and places Erronius's ring
on Hysterium's finger.
Pseudolus calls out to the captain and
his soldiers he has found the dead girl. Pseudolus offers to dispose of
the body, but Miles insists on conducting a funeral service
("Funeral"). Miles wants to cremate the body, but Pseudolus convinces
him the Gods would be unhappy. Miles then places the contract on the
body. When Miles is about to kiss the body, Pseudolus tells him 'she'
died from the plague in Crete. Miles, who has just returned from there,
knows there is no plague; he leans over the body and declares "this
girl is alive!" Hysterium jumps up and runs off, followed by Pseudolus
and the soldiers.
Much running about and many scenes of
mistaken identity follow: Senex mistakes Hysterium for Philia;
Hysterium mistakes Domina for Philia; Pseudolus mistakes Domina for
Hysterium. Finally, Domina runs into Senex, and Pseudolus, who has
found the contract, gives it to Hero. Erronius enters after his third
trip around the city and sees Hysterium, still in the virgin's clothes,
running out of his house. Erronius, after mistaking Hysterium for the
ghost who has been haunting his house, sees the ring on Hysterium's
finger, and thinks Hysterium is his long-lost daughter. Senex arrives
and announces Hysterium is his new maid. Miles enters and claims
Hysterium as his virgin. Hysterium's wig falls off and everyone's
identity is revealed. An angry Miles is again about to kill Pseudolus,
who asks to be allowed to kill himself. He tells Hysterium to bring him
what he thinks is the sleeping potion; Hysterium, however, brings him
the passion potion. Lycus enters with Philia and presents her to Miles.
When Erronious mentions his confusion about the ring on Hysterium's
finger, it is revealed Miles and Philia each have identical rings -
they are brother and sister and Erronious is their father: Erronious is
finally reunited with his children. Hero tells his parents of his wish
to marry Philia. The entire ensemble joins Pseudolus as he explains
everyone has gotten what they have been looking for ("Comedy Tonight -
Reprise").